I know this might make me wildly unpopular with my more Democratic - thinking friends but…after the rather bizarre day I had Sunday, I’m just not in the fucking mood to tolerate intolerance. And no, I’m probably not going to explain that remark. The point is, part of being a supposed ‘good Christian’ is being tolerant of others’ beliefs, mistakes, opinions, failings and foibles as human beings, regardless of whether or not others display that same tolerance toward you and others! One has nothing to do with the other. Being tolerant is not a tit-for-tat exercise.
I’m also not big on anyone getting bullied. I don’t like bullies - least of all religious, pseudo-religious, sanctimonious and/or political ones. Governor Sanford remarked today:
“He is also concerned about the message he is sending to his four sons. “Really a larger message about life, not only in terms of me learning it, but what is the message that I would send my four boys. Mine and Jenny’s four boys. On life. Is it, is it you fall and that’s the end of the story? Or you begin the process of getting back up on rebuilding, life, trust, all that goes with it.”
He’s right. Quitting is the easy way…except that you have to live with the fact you couldn’t pull it off, and quit. Not that you failed, but that you didn’t even have the stomach to stay in long enough to find out if you’d fail or succeed. If the people of South Carolina want him out of office then prove he did something wrong and impeach him. There is a case to be made for a degree of misconduct, in leaving the state without formally transferring power, but frankly - that’s really reaching. If the man had stepped across the state line and dropped dead, I bet no one’d be tearing their hair out because the Governor didn’t have the foresight to transfer power before kicking the bucket. In many states, transfer of power is automatic the moment the governor leaves the state - whether anyone knows he/she’s left or not. South Carolina, apparently, had a bill addressing that pending not too long ago. It’s a shame they didn’t pass it. This would all be a moot point if they had, and a lot of peoples’ privacy might not have been so utterly violated.
However, so far that I’ve seen from the timeline laid out - anyone would have an incredibly difficult time proving Mark Sanford used state funds, deliberately and intentionally, for any trip to see Ms. Belen Chapur. …a) the first time there was a romantic meeting was not until after the economic development trip to Brazil was created and completed, after one of the members of that delegation invited Sanford and others to continue on to Argentina to bird hunt, at which point Sanford continued to pursue economic devlopment with meetings in Buenos Ares, fully backed and set up by the Commerce Dept of South Carolina. He wasn’t roaming the streets of Buenos Ares randomly knocking on office doors, asking if they wanted to invest in South Carolina….b) so unless Mark Sanford is both prescient and telepathic, or there are emails out there that prove he and Ms. Belen Chapur not only worked out this Brazilian trip ahead of time, but managed to put some sort of spell on the gentleman bird hunter - bewitching him into coming up with the idea to take a side trip to Argentina to hunt birds, and invite everyone to come along - someone’s going to have to work very hard to explain to me how he intentionally spent state money for the purpose of pursuing a romantic encounter in a country he didn’t know he was going to visit until a third party not Ms. Belen Chapur suggested visiting at the end of the original economic development trip?…c) where, in the rule books, does it say you can’t have dinner with a friend while you’re on a business trip? That something more happened from then on, doesn’t make him guilty of doing anything wrong or inappropriate before that point. Should he pay for whatever costs were incurred that had nothing to do with state business? Yes. But, sorry…that’s all you get South Carolina.
There is nothing I’ve seen reported thus far, to indicate Mark Sanford spent anything but his own funds for his most recent trip.
He went on to say:
“He said the experience is “going to make me a much more forgiving person, a much more humble person, a much less judgmental person.”
Yes, it will. For those who doubt that - watch.
And speaking of intolerance…not to mention exceptionally poor taste and generally being unkind…the reader comments I’ve read, from various news sites and blogs, describing Ms. Belen Chapur have been, for the most part, dispicable. What the hell is the matter with us? This is not some groupie tramp he picked up in a bar to get laid. She is, by all reliable accounts, a very beautiful, elegant, well-educated, cultured lady and mother. She has also behaved, throughout these past several days and unbelievable violation of her privacy, with grace and dignity, and charity. She has disparaged no one, including the person who she says she thinks leaked hers and Governor Sanford’s email exchange, yet she has been treated like some gold-digging, low-class, slut home-wrecker by much of our public. The news outlets, at the very least, owe her an apology…in print…especially The State. So do we. But, since most of us won’t do it - I will:
Ms. Belen Chapur:
I apologize for all that you’ve experienced of the Ugly American in the past several days. I apologize your privacy was so grossly violated for no better reasons than to sell newspapers, titillate the public, and humiliate Governor Sanford, Mrs. Sanford, their family members and friends, as well as yourself, in the most egregious manner possible. I apologize so few wish to acknowledge there are three adults deeply hurt by these circumstances - not just two. I apologize so few wish to acknowledge the fact that at least one of the three of the adults involved may lose the one they most love, and how unbearably painful that is. I applaud you for refusing to speak to the media except on your own terms, and in a manner that served solely to correct the incorrect and nothing more. That took courage. It also took more strength and self-control than most will ever know. More than this, I wish you and your family long and happy lives.
Governor Sanford:
I’m glad you’ve decided, thus far, not to resign. As I mentioned above, I don’t like bullies and would be saddened to see you bow to any. I truly hope you remain in office to finish your term, if that’s your wish. If, however, you are forced out - feel free to come to California. Believe me, we desperately need a fiscally conservative governor again - Pete Wilson was the last, and one of the best. I’ll vote for you - hell, I’ll volunteer for you. Whatever your future holds, though, allow me to be arrogant enough to offer a few points of advice:
1. While I don’t doubt the strength of your faith in God, nor am I implying the following applies to you - I’ve seen far too many who confuse the ability to quote scripture with the capacity to understand it. They are not the same, nor is the former an automatic indicator of the latter. There’s a very good reason we promote the separation of church and state in this country. Take conscious care of interweaving the two, lest it come back (again) and bite you while it undermines what you try to achieve for the people of your state. God alone knows the strength of your faith - and His is the only opinion that matters.
2. Falling in love happens. If you didn’t know it could happen more than once before - you know it now. I’ve always thought loving another, especially being in love, is the greatest gift God gives us. And, that to ignore such a gift is akin to slapping God. There is no sin in falling in love - it’s not a darkness that befell you, nor a demon who bewitched you. It’s a gift, and life without it - even if it’s unrequited - is not life, but mere existence. The only sin is if you’ve maliciously harmed another, for any reason (the operative word being ‘maliciously’) - it’s also unethical.
3. Your mother’s right.
4. You were right about your mother - that is the greatest achievement.
5. Mary Matalin was right: no matter what happens between you and Mrs. Sanford - you are absolutely obligated to make certain your children fully understand what has happened is not their fault, has nothing to do with how much you love them, does not remotely negate the values with which they’ve been raised, that though it affects them it isn’t about them, that it is between you and Mrs. Sanford to resolve one way or another, and that, should it happen, the world will not end should your living arrangements change.
6. That you are beyond fortunate to have two so remarkable women love you. Don’t lose sight of that; of the joy of that.
7. It’s easy to be good when you’ve never been tested. The true measure of us is what we do after we fail the test. In fact…that is the test. You’re doing better than you may think. However, be aware that what may seem like the selfless (and most difficult for you), right path can also be the wrong path; that while guilt can be a great asset when we use it to prevent ourselves from doing something stupid, it can also destroy us and those we love by leading us to do the wrong thing in order to punish ourselves for a past transgression.
8. Never lose your sense of humor (and I’m not trying to be humorous).
For those who may wonder why I haven’t devoted paragraphs to the defense of Mrs. Sanford…because everyone else has, and she probably needs it least. I wish her well too.